What am I really supposed to do?

I don’t think I could call it mid-life crises since I still have a long way to go before I even reach the age of 30, and yet, the consistency of having a slight headache before going to sleep is becoming more frequent due to thinking of my future. What does the future hold? What else is there? What am I to do?

Despite my ‘take-care-of-today-and-let-tomorrow-take-care-of-itself’ attitude, I’m beginning to realize the phase of time that seemed to suddenly push its existence to my face. With all the years I have been part of the working society, up to now I’m still faced with the million dollar question….

“What am I really supposed to do?”

I’m honestly not satistied with my work anymore, boredom is fogging my brain, responsibilities at the house has suddenly seemed to push on its weight n my shoulders, my hobbies aren’t enough to satisfy my needs, my extra-curricular are becoming duties rather than fun and so on and so forth. I feel I’m not doing enough… or rather there is something I’m not doing yet. It’s frustrating really, to not know what you are supposed to do.

Even with the sites I’m creating and maintaining with my friend, even with my love of DVDs and movies that I watch almost every night of the week, even with my daily chit chats to different people from work and other places, I am not satisfied. My brain is not functioning the way I want it… with what I want.

Currently, I am going through job portals to see any opportunities that may invigorate my sytem to do some changes in my life. To that extent, I just remembered that my online portfolio has been deleted together with our previous server. It means I have to asap create a new online portfolio of the things I have done over the years. And yet, looking at them, somehow, I am still not satisfied.

And the question then repeats itself in my brain…

“What am I really supposed to do in this life?”

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