Married vs Single, What’s with the Bitchy Pressure!
Last night I stumbled upon the Tyra Banks show and the issue was about single women being pressured into marrying and have kids because the people around them believes that women are supposed to marry and have children in order to be happy since, as I quote one of the guests said, it’s in the bible that such process of life should be undertaken.
With that I said bullshit. 
I saw red when a single sophisticated woman was interviewed about how she felt being judged by her sister and mother into marrying. She made it clear to her family that she didn’t want to have kids and every time the family has a get-together, she felt her mother favour her sister more just because her sister has children. I don’t go against her mother’s wishes to have grandchildren from her other daughter but can’t the mother see she has a strong, independent daughter who is living her life to the fullest? Can’t the mother be happy for that? !
Sure I know a lot of married women by now would list out the benefits of married life just to point out the flaw of the topic. Here would be some of them:
1. Life is hard nowadays. To stay single for too long might make a woman miss out on the happiness of having someone to lean on in times of need, to have sense of belongingness and love to go back home to at the end of the day. Having a partner to have decisions with is beneficial in these modern times.
2. Having children is the biggest blessing from God and an opportunity to being the individual to continue the string of humanity.
3. Nothing can compare to the benefits (and even tribulations) of motherhood.
I’m looking back at the list and I say, yes, I agree. No doubt about the benefits of married life. But is it only in married life can a woman reach the peak of her happiness? Can’t a woman explore things on her own, in her own pace, before she settles to a place where she belongs? Can’t a woman decide for herself without pestering family and friends, who are ignorant enough to know there Is happiness in single-dom?
Don’t these pressuring people know the phrase “This is not the time”?
I have been hinted upon to marry too as I am approaching my 30s and yet I have no qualms of getting married yet. I do have a wonderful boyfriend and even if the vision of being together for the rest of our lives is clear, we do understand the necessity of planning for ourselves first before anything else. There is no rush and pressure from our families and we are very glad for that. We are learning to love ourselves first before anything else and I believe that is very essential before committing yourself to someone else. Give yourself the love you deserve and everything else will fall into place.
If you are wondering what happened to the mother, daughter and sister issue, the independent daughter told her mother “This it not the time”. I threw my fist in the air, “You go girl!”
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As you get older, you see how lonely women are without children in their lives. I’ve heard many mothers talk about how heartbreaking it is to see their daughters unhappy later. Yes you can be strong, yes you can be career oriented, but those things don’t keep you warm on a cold night. Those things don’t give you the joy that seeing your child accomplish something does. Having been a career women, a strong women, having been an older when I had children, I do see their point as well.
We’re not all the same, what works for one might not work for another; but sometimes Mom do know what’s best for kids, and see things others don’t.
Yes, I see your point and do agree with it but what irks me the most is the way SOME moms treat these ‘independent’ daughters differently compared to their other children. Maybe, it’s a way to communicate and have their thoughts known but it does not help the situation of pressuring their daughters to get into a life they’re not ready yet for.