Just recently, I went into an inner turmoil of insanity and frustration on how my life is going.
I want so many things but not the means to have them all.
Then I realized, do I even deserve the things I want?
Then I answered, Yes, of course. To hell to the bitches who say no. :evil:
It doesn’t mean I don’t care on what is happening around me. It doesn’t mean I am not aware there are others with worse problems than me. It doesn’t mean I detest everthing life has given me. It doesn’t mean I am not grateful for some of what I possess.
I am not going to put any barriers around it, I have to be honest and make it known.
I am SELFISH.
I know what I want and I will demand for it. Yes, things I want may not come easily but there is no way I will be hindered to demand no matter how selfish it sounds.
Long has it been that I’ve always went with the flow of the river. I will not say, “this is what life has given me so this is only what I’ll have” again. It’s time to take out the map and charter my own course.
How about you? Have you asked yourself what you are selfish about? Are you telling yourself you are not selfish about anything?
It’s quite enlightening actually, to ackowlegdge my selfish side. It’s like a hidden desire suddenly sprung out of nowhere and I was able to breath easier.
Selfishness is not altogether bad. It will depend on the you whether whether you will it in black or white. There is selfishness meant to hurt others and the other meant for self-improvement. I am taking the latter course and will be proud to say I am SELFISH.
I bet you are now wondering just what I am selfish about *wink wink*. Here are a few of them:
1. I am selfish about money. I do not over-spend but I’m not frugal either. I share what I have but I don’t give all of it. Despite what others say that money isn’t everything, I do not agree on it whole-heartedly. It does not buy happiness but it makes everything easier and I want that “easier” aspect. Besides, I’m doing my best for my future and who is to say I have no part for a “better” if not “rich” life.
2. I am selfish on my evenings because it is my time to relax and do extra-curricular things I want.
3. I am selfish about time with my boyfriend *meep!* With our busy schedules we don’t go out much anymore and when we do make plans then last-minute changes come up I easily get frustrated. I am constantly reminded such things happen but that wouldn’t hinder me from ranting a bit as it’s my only way to get the frustration out of my system. My boyfriend is used to it by now and understands me *love you!*
4. I am selfish about my snacks especially during certain cravings or when I’m in the middle of a very complicated project. Everybody is brought up to share what we have but when my brain was turned to mush from thinking or I’m feeling very low, food is my sole giver of compassion… so at these moments, I don’t share. ^^
5. I am selfish about Swiss Miss Vanilla hot drink! Those are expensive compared to the usual coffee sachets I buy so no way am I to easily give my Swiss Miss sachets to others!
6. Macadamia Nuts! Those are pricey chocolates are all mine!
So what are you selfish about? Care to share?
