NOTE: For Mature audience only. Please pardon my grammar as my brain is really mushy and tired from work. I did my best to recount the progress of the conversation. If my officemates are reading this and I left something out please don’t hesitate to tell me! Thankies! :oops:
Winding down after a morning of harassing tasks at the office yesterday, me and my officemates had our usual indoor lunch in our offlice’s long conference table. After a few minutes of silence to fill our stomachs with food, we came to start on our usual routine of random discussion about anything under the sun. I’m not sure how we arrived to our topic of the day as I do believe I have some relation with Dori (from Nemo) and I can’t remember the way our convesation went. Anyways, after we delved about how much each one of us ate, where specific fruits are exported, various banned commercials and if swineflu is bad for humans, I found myself asking,
“Where did AIDS start?”
I had a very vague memory of someone telling me that the first man who had AIDS got it from sexual intercourse with a cow. I was overruled though when two of my officemates said they heard it was from sexual activities with a monkey. In a way, this proves that such history is still not yet clear and theories abound to explain the existence of this illness.
KOYA Mon, one of our senior web designers (referring to *cough*age*cough*), heard that AIDS started during a war, when soldiers were really feeling deprived they ended up releasing their frustrations to what their current location, the jungle or forest, could provide… the monkeys.
Of course, that brought goosebumps and very disturbing images. :shock:
It did not stop there. Someone had to ask,
“How did the soldiers able to get close to the monkeys before doing it?”
Being the harassed workers we were (we love our work, don’t get us wrong!) such questions are good gateways for creative brainstorming and laughing sessions. 
NOTE / DISCLAIMER: This post is not meant to degrade anyone with AIDS or to provote anger from any organinzation related to AIDS/HIV or to any animal institutions. This post is meant for fun and laughter. If we hurt anyone, we really don’t mean it. 
Going back to the question:
“How did the soldiers able to get close to the monkeys before doing it?”
Well then, here were our answers:
- A serious answer. The answers had the monkeys sedated before having ‘fun’ with them.
- The soldiers wore monkey costumes (not sure where they got them) so they could get near the moneys. There’s a hole ‘down-there’ so it would be an easy task.
- The soldiers promised everything to the monkeys:
“Ibibigay ko sayo ang buwan at mga saging…” (I’ll give you the moon and the bananas…”
“Nakikita mo yung bundok na yan? Ibibigay ko yan sayo…” (Do you see that mountain? I’ll give that to you…)
“Ipagtatanim kita ng puno ng saging…” (I’ll plant you a banana tree…”)
“I aalay ko sayo ang hektarya ng lupa ng saging…” (I’ll offer you hectares of land full of banana trees…”)
Another question came, “Why monkeys?”
The answers were:
- Maybe because according to the animal kingdom hierarchy, monkeys are distant relatives of man. So it shouldn’t be much of a concern. (To the monkey: Hi cuz!)
- Maybe the soldier wanted to know if it was possible to get back to the time man were still homo-sapiens.
- The soldiers were probably very dirty looking, very hairy and smelled they easily got to be in the middle of the monkey clan and be part of the family… inclusive of the procreation business.
I had to ask,
“I presume the monkeys were actually gorillas or apes (the big kinds). I can’t imagine having the small monkeys doing that with man with their smaller size and all.”
Someone just had to answer, “but if it were apes or gorillas, it would be the man who has to run away or he would be raped!”
Gaaah! I died from laughing! 
Then an officemate said…
“Did you know that Foreigners say we Filipinos smell like bananas?”
We wondered at that. It could probably mean that because our country produces and exports lots of bananas foreigner’s associated the smell to our race. Well at least we smell sweet and fruity.
Or maybe, upon the miracle of conception, by some twist of fate, the Frenzy condom used (banana flavor) got broken and well… you know what happens. *grins* Thus, the banana scent!
NYAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
I swear, our lunchbreaks are something to always look forward to. :D
