I found a blog post having the same title. It turned out the poster also got the idea from a tumblr blog. And I very much like what she did there so I decided to make one on my own. ^_^
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Hi.
By the time this post is made, several months has passed when my first love broke my heart in a very disrespectful way not expected from a two and a half relationship. He abruptly and made reasons to cover up his getting back to his ex-girlfriend/college best friend. As most of the people in my life says, he is not a MAN. He is a BOY.
This I have already realized and accepted.
But it does not stop the bleeding.
That being said and with me knowing how sensitive I could be, my heart still bleeds. A certain numbness has also settled in. The numbness is still here though the heart survives.
With these in mind, please do understand that I don’t trust easily. I have trust issues and it is the reason I don’t easily fall in love. After what happened in my family (confidential issue) that brought about my parent’s separation, the years of anger I have grown up in, the mask I have placed on my face to hide my sadness, it is really hard for me to trust.
I do not know what I can guarantee once my heart learns to trust.
I only know that when I do, my loyalty and devotion can be extreme. Regardless if you sometimes forget me because of your busy schedule, I can bear the waiting I have to do as long as you later realize how much I missed you. Even if we don’t have the money to get out as much as we would want to, as long as I can have your attention most of the time, it would make my day complete.
It also works the other way around.
If I tend to be too busy, it doesn’t mean I don’t remember you. I do. Unfortunately, I can be forgetful *wince*. But my heart would twist later when I realize my mistakes and will try to make it up to you.
I’m not easily scared by creepy crawlies or flying insects. I am used to doing house chores though, at most times I would rather have someone do them for me.
I have limits.
I have no sense of direction. That is why I can’t go to far places alone. So if I have to meet you somewhere far, I would need extreme help for this. I will need support, instruction and patience. I’m really, really sorry that I’m dumb about these things. But, one thing for sure. As most of the people in my life know, I am often online. I am reachable in many other ways. Phone, cellphone, texts, email, chat, etc. If you need someone to talk to, I’m just here. Really here. I’m just waiting for you to need me. To want me. To call me. I’ll do the same thing for you if I need you.
I’m not a good cook. I may forget things you like and dislike. But everything I will give you will come from my deepest corner of my heart. I just need to be reminded once in a while. My mind gets to be overwhelmed with many things at times, thoughts fly out of my head sometimes. But I do cook good “adobo”.
I can’t dress sexy. I’m not much into make-up. I can’t promise to be pretty once I wake-up. Yes, I’m one of those girls who seem to “deteriorate” over the night. One thing for sure, I can be the girl who can fool others about her age. :) You are pretty lucky no? LOL
I am pretty open minded about things. So we can talk about many things under the sun. Just make sure I don’t do all the talking. I can’t be the motor-mouth most of the time. XD
You know what I really would like to do? It’s pretty boring though, you might not be into it.
I would like us to like down on the grass and view the star-studded night sky. Maybe we could name the stars on our own or make stories about them while doing so.
Or we could just sleep on a hammock on a breezy, sunny weather. Perfect day to chill no?
Or we could read some read some good books together, play online games with each other with our laptops while sipping some coffee or juice.
Maybe just watch a movie in the living room, with no kids or family member harping for our attention. God, I would love that since that happens rarely to me. >.<
I have simple pleasures but I do want attention. But I don’t strangle either.
I am not picky, I just know what I want.
I am pretty awesome but I am also human. There are more things I want to say but I can’t give everything away here.
I hold secrets, true. Doesn’t everyone?
It’s hard for me to love. But when I do, you have no idea how loyal and devoted I could be.
If love doesn’t come, I can accept. If love attempts, I need to adjust… a LOT.
Do you think you can bear with someone like me?
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I just realized how sad that entry sounded. :(
Oh well.
That is my…
current frame of mind.
