Its December…

… and I don’t feel the holiday spirit *sigh*

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Classic Sentai! :D

I can’t help it! *rolls over with laughter* These vidoes remind me so much of my childhood. Looking at them, I can’t believe I actually watched such corny shows :-p. Oh well, those were the days. And I won’t stop being nostalgic about them! And of course, I LOVE ROBERT AKIZUKI!!!!!

Mask Rider Black

Bioman

Shaider

Maskman

When I find others I’ll tell you!

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I want to…

NOTE: If you don’t like to be burdened, please don’t read.

I want to…

Disappear. I want to be invisible. I want to break free from this vicious cycle of my life. I want FREEDOM. Freedom from sadness, from burdens, from hurtful commitments. I would like to know who I really am but the circumstances are just too complex for me to think straight.

I believe I have lost my sanity. And I bet a lot of people would laugh at that. But in truth I am. And… I’m alone in my shaded life. I guess, life happened to choose me randomly for these burdens. And I say to life… f**k you.

I watched Mulan last night. I envy her. She knew what she had to do and got away from it. I really ENVY her. I ENVY my friends who know what to do in their lives. I ENVY my active friends, who are currently having a good time.

I’m not shunning my obligations. But they just HURT. I’m used to it. But it STILL HURTS.

I bet a lot of people would hate me once they see this, and I don’t blame them.

My little Dachshund pet is sitting on my lap while I’m typing this. She even wants to punch on some keys. LOL I guess I got one of the things I wanted from yesterday… as of the moment.

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What I want right this moment… and I mean right now!

1) The feel of a sleeping baby on my arms.
2) A puppy cuddling up on my lap.
3) To be in a park, gentle breeze, the sound of swaying leaves, sunlight…
4) To hear all of my favorite music undisturbed.
5) To be with my officemates and go crazy together.
6) To have lots of money so I can buy a house and have it all to myself, far from everyone and everything that I know.

Because at this moment, I would give anything to be far away from who I am, what I am and what I may become… because I’m scared of the future and of fate.

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